(the clown's) suicide note

does anyone know me?
does anyone care to pity?
would anyone stop here?
would anyone shed a tear?

this is a suicide note, ladies and gentlemen,
from a sad, pathetic girl, full of lament,
stranded alone with none to share with,
muted by force, existed by myth.

mirror, mirror, tell me who do you see?
even the mirror said, 'Is there anyone talking to me?'
i wish for nothing but a sincere smile,
but even I can't love myself all this while!

'look, people! it's the clown walking towards!
come on, now, crack us a joke, or imitate that bird!'
and i'll be tiptoeing with laughter and warmth,
be mimicking all sorts of facade and forms.

by then, people loves my moves, adores my laughs,
all would envy my life, so free like doves,
what more could I wish but for me to be her,
walking in fame, the clown, with glitters.

seriously, does anyone know this girl?
can you describe the joy existed in her world?
she provides smiles on your face, little or big,
aids when you need, in health, in sick.

tell me, you did look at the clown in the eyes
and can you swear you saw happiness, fun and sly?
talk not to her lips but that small part of face,
the eyes that are cold, covered by water lace.

i am a primadonna on stage and in life,
i wont tell you anything but what you see in precise,
but hey, a clown wouldn't wear any frown,
after all, 'people, here comes the clown!'

so this letter is addressed to none,
when some of you might find this rather fun,
if a death would be counted as a loss,
mine would be seen as nature's force.

do I smell that bad?
was it the look I never had?
do I embarrass you?
was it the funny looking shoe?

should I pay for a hug?
must I spend thousands of bucks?
should I care not all of this?
must I fake it all bliss?

i wish to end this misery,
i wish to stop this lunacy,
but the more I wish the more I realize,
this suicide note doesn't value a thousand dies!

even if I cease my life under the spotlight,
yes, it's true, people, I would have might,
if the clown you desire on having,
then pity me, my life isn't worth saving!

adieu, adieu, you cruel world,
later I would be a corpse rather than a girl,
call me stupid, call me all names all over town,
but I refuse to be forever known as The Clown!